Surviving Not Thriving: The Unconventional Guide to Making it Through the Holiday Season

Every year around this time, I get this weird sensation that I must fix everything imperfect in my life by New Year. I am sure it has to do with the desire to "start fresh", but this just adds an exorbitant level of stress to a season which is already arguably the most stressful. Well, why is that? Is it the pressure to find the "perfect gift"? Is it the financial burden that comes with buying every person you have known since third grade a gift? Probably both, but I am not a psychologist or doctor so what do I know! Basically, I know that we need to come to terms with these ruminating thoughts by facing some hard pills to swallow. This post will discuss those hard pills and some ways you can combat those feelings without breaking the bank.

Facing The (White) Elephant in the Room

1. Acknowledge the Weirdness

   With holidays usually centered around spending time with family, this can be hard for individuals who may have strained relationships with loved ones. The common solution I witness is for families to sweep it under the rug and avoid that uncomfortable conversation. STOP IT. I am not saying you need to fix all your familial trauma in one week but damn the worst thing you could do (if you want to maintain a relationship with someone) is just ignore it outright. The only way past problems is through. Talk to each other. Cry with each other if needed.

   
   

   

2. Stop Stretching Yourself Thin

   I understand the principle behind gift giving and how special it feels knowing someone thought of you, but as you age it gets significantly harder to buy gifts for your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Additionally, not everyone's love language aligns with giving/receiving gifts, your spouse may cherish quality time, so plan a picnic or activity they would like to do. You know your loved ones best, show them your love without going into debt.

   
   

   

   
   

3. Limit Social Media Holiday Overload

   You really don't need a professional Insta-worthy photoshoot to create great memories. Put down your phone and connect with others IRL. This will also help curb the appetite to buy all the things since you won't be bombarded with Black Friday Deals everywhere.

   
   

   

Mini Mental Health Boosters

1. Morning Affirmations or Breathwork

   Mornings can be ugly in the wintertime. The sun doesn't come out until late, and your bed is so much warmer than the cold air. I get it, really I do. Instead of starting your day with your nose in your screen, try looking in the mirror for 3 minutes smiling like a weirdo saying nice things about yourself. If you are a slower riser, try sitting up in bed and breathing in and out deeply instead. Guaranteed this habit will help you set the pace for the rest of your day.

   

   
   

2. Hot Gorl Walk

   This may not be received well but NO MATTER THE WEATHER, go outside. Walk around, maybe play in snow or touch some cold grass. Believe it or not, the fitfluencers are on to something when they say moving your body every day is good for you.

   

3. Read a Damn Book, Jeez

   Sorry, that was aggressive, but if the first two tips aren't getting you out of your seasonal depresh slump, just mentally escape this world a lil bit with a book (or movie).

   
   

   

   
   

Cultivating Connection without Burnout

1. Quality over Quantity Socializing

   As a person who feels FOMO a lot and tends to overbook their holiday social calendar. Try focusing on the intimate gatherings with people who bring you joy. It's okay to skip or leave that corporate party early. It is also most definitely okay if you visit with "chosen" family over blood.

   
   

2. State Your Boundaries Clearly

   Practice saying no politely but firmly when event invitations feel overwhelming. It's okay if you want to start a new tradition with your own family.

   
   

3. Reach Out When You Feel Isolated

   Check in with a friend or loved one to share your feelings and remind yourself you’re not alone.

   
   

Just Plain Getting Through It

If nothing else matters, let this sink in. You are worthy of love. I am happy you are here. It is temporary. Holidays are supposed to bring you cheer, but it's okay if that is not what you currently feel. Just know that one person out there (it me) is cheering you on no matter how far. Call your friend you haven't heard from in a while. Visit your elderly relative. Fight your own loneliness by being part of your community. You got this. Until next time, I love youuuuu bye.